I’ve only recently delved into Myers-Briggs personality typing, even though I’ve been fascinated with personalities ever since high school.
I’ve never been 100% sure about my own MB type–I’m not good about objectively answering questions about my own personality, although with recent reading, I felt pretty confident in 3 out of the 4 letters. After reading MotherStyles, I finally cemented the last letter in my own type, and it’s so obvious I felt really foolish for not figuring it out earlier.
In this post, I commented how my child with the personality most like mine is the most difficult for me to relate to. After reading MotherStyles, the way I view the personalities of my family has been turned upside down and realigned, and I think it’s going to be a game changer.
According to the authors, the two middle letters of your type is your personality core, so people that share those two letters see things similarly, and are usually compatible, even if they have other differing characteristics.
I always thought my husband and I had very differing personalities–he’s ENFP, and I’m INFJ. I looked more at the outer two letters than the inner letters, but our personality core is actually the same. We share the NF, even though he’s extroverted and I’m introverted, and he’s perceiving and I’m judging (contrary to how unflattering that makes me sound, I really am a kind, open minded person .)
Here’s where it gets really good: I was able to type my oldest two sons using MotherStyles, and I discovered that one son is ENFP just like my husband. My other son, that I previously thought had a personality similar to mine, is ISTJ. He and I are both introverted judgers, (again, couldn’t they have come up with nicer terminology?!) but we have trouble seeing eye to eye because of those middle letters.
I feel like a hundred light bulbs have gone off, and now that I’m armed with this information, I feel like we can make huge strides in improving our communicating and in our understanding of this child.
I highly recommend MotherStyles for any mother. it gives so many concrete examples, and instead of a traditional quiz where you check millions of boxes in a row, it give real life scenerios that (for me) were much easier to identify ‘yes, that’s just like me’, or ‘no, that’s not like me at all’.
The authors cover how to use the personality types to foster better communication in the whole family. They talk about what careers are best suited for children with different types of personalities, which I think is so important.
There’s also information on what types of careers are best for you as a mom, depending on your personality type, and how having children might change what your ideal job looks like. The book also talks about identifying personality types of your parents, and how growing up with their personalities shaped yours.
As soon as I finished this book, I started reading it again, to soak up and reapply my new knowledge. I’m planning on buying it as soon as possible, so I can take notes and highlight.
Here are other books about personalities and how families relate to each other that I’ve found helpful: